Takin’ a break from travelling’ through space unraveling
Grub’s up in the cabin and Spock says right then what we all having then
Uhuru says I’ll have fish, or the veggie dish
choosing was always a mish, or I might have chicken
This triggered old Bones as if he never had enough of his own
problems choosing the fish or chicken Sulu says
fuck sake stop dicking around, he was half cut
claiming the wife’s been doing his nut,hiccuping about bones can’t even steer
yeah? at least I can hold my beer, oh you cheeky bastard
I’ll have all the fish in stock, boil it with the antlers on what you having Spock?
Steak, affirmative rare, from a bear, Uhuru says from a bear? yeah what do I care?
Peas I like peas I’ll eat peas right up to my knees fish finger C H I Ps
I get a rush with mushy peas, sorry, fuc-GLAWPH If you want peas you’ve got it slim
what you got Jim? I’ll have the Vindaloo, the Vinda who? the Vindaloo?
yeah what’s wrong with all of you? Sir I don’t mean to pry but do you think that’s wise?, it’s true cap’n, that last time your arse was flapping’
That was just a bad decision I made at Taco Bell
no need to remind me sir oh my god the smell
1 I wasn’t asking you 2 I’m never asking you 3 the captain of this crew will 4 have his
Vindaloo, well on your arse be it sir but please heed our suggestion, aye Spock I’ll second that he should have the fish no question, they’re right Jim just think about when it reaches your intestine, if it does that to his fork what will it do to his digestion?

Had a good dinner lads? time will tell

How you feeling captain? as if he didn’t know the answer, something bad’s crawled up his arse and turned into a belly dancer I feel a deep sense of regret I should’ve had the cod
Well we all tried to warn you captain, captain? oh my god! FARRRT!!! ewww!! yeah who knew?
Guys its just a touch of wind oh god it’s coming through! Idiot..
my calculations show there's more in store,aye well good job all the bogs are close cos he canna hold no more!
(sniff) phwoarrr who’s gone and dropped their guts then?
That’ll be oldJames T on a vindaloo with nuts in, aye he just did a fart that damn near did deafen us, Uhuru, what is it doctor? release the bridge air fresheners, but little did they know that smell wouldn’t make a dent, cos it went seeping through the engine room and crept up through the vent, and as Kirk returned with an burned arse crack red from radiation, he’d been gone over an hour now and owed them an explanation, he said I’d advise you all to stay well clear of the bog, something of an emergency with the latest captains log, I’ve made a big mistake and I’m so sorry to put you in it, I’m bursting for a piss Jim, Bones I’d give it just a minute, see I like a vindaloo even tho sometimes it’s a curse, but look upon the bright side things couldn’t get much worse, message for you captain something strange in sector 2. thanks commander Uhuru please relay the message through, …captain we don’t know what it is but if you look outside your window you’ll see a thick cloud of mist, it’s all up in the machinery and my god it’s moving fast and I’ll tell you one thing captain it smells like the devils arse, Scotty do you read me captain Scotty please come in, Spock we better get down there and see what’s happening’, Affirmative captain but first there’s something you should see, this is the view from sector 2 and this from sector 3, it's in my estimation sir while you were in the fog, you left your mush so in a rush you never flushed the bog, and now it’s coming up through all of our desktops and drains, I feel it fair to warn you sir someone will take the blame, precisely, and so the both of them did trot, down those dusty corridors to find their laddie scot, with the swiftness and the fitness they began to check the spots and in no time it’s bro time they found a beleaguered scotsman, sorry captian I did nae mean tae let you down, but I got just one whiff of your arse and it pulled me to the ground, tell ma wife Barbara to never shed a tear, why such melodrama for such mundane diahorrea? Spock that's the air lock I think he might pull through, uh-uh-where am I? overdoing poo, and now the fumes are rising up it’s not too steady on the shoe look captain there’s the toilet door, you know what you must do, And yey as I walk into the void of foulest pong, I wish for men to think of me fondly in all their songs, they’re running low on oxygen it ain’t gonna last for long,and so I boldly go where no other lazy bastard’s gone, so he goes in with a rush, steps into the future where there’s button flush,, the clouds they began to withdraw and step back that wicked hum from out kirks bum was a set back, So the mist began to flee, that foul smell began to lose its energy, and pretty soon the crew began to see, that finally the enterprise was free, and as they got back to normality just in time for tea, teatime! I could murder a Ruby, fish fish I mean fish..